Without our friends and family, who do we have? At the end when everything else is lost, you will only have your friends and family behind you. But how many will actually be WITH you?
The definition of “Friend” is largely abused. If not why do you have relationships with toxic people whom you should keep out of your life? Case in point is Facebook.
During the early days of social media, almost everyone I knew was in “Friendster.” Then Facebook descended upon the Internet like a tsunami. My friends would often chide me as the “Last person on Earth who is not on Facebook”.
I would rebut them by asking, “How many friends do you really need?” I mean, some had thousands of friends! I would ask them, “Does that mean you’ll get thousands of gifts for your birthday?”
Eventually, I learned that social media is not a bad thing; it is a powerful tool especially when I started running my online business. Harnessed the power of social media correctly and it can transform businesses and the lives of others in a very positive way.
However, Ben Parker once said to Peter Parker, “With great power comes great responsibility.”
Social media has given people the power to connect with others; a platform to be seen and heard on the Internet. Some people abuse this power by taking advantage of others.
If in the real world, you find yourself connected to the toxic types of people you should keep out of your life, the chances become exponentially higher in the virtual world. It is because the Internet gives you a false sense of entitlement.
The Internet creates a filter which exposes people for who they are. Then you discover who your real friends are. And the fact is, there aren’t many!
Here are the ten toxic people you should keep out of your life
1. The Negative
Do you have someone in your life who shuts down every idea, suggestion or comment you make? This person is called the Negative.
He sees the glass half empty. A typical conversation would be like this:
You: “I’m planning to start an online business. I met the manufacturer of a high-end athletic apparel, and he would put me directly in touch with his primary distributor. The wholesale price is marked 60% lower so I can get excellent margins.”
The Negative: “Haven’t you noticed how many fat people are walking around? No one wants to work out so who’s going to buy your athletic apparel? And how do you know it’s original? Maybe these are just cheap knock-offs from China. Or maybe those are last year’s inventory which no one wants to buy. Forget it. You’ll just lose money like you did in your other ventures.”
The Negative is a person who puts people down to bring himself up. He feeds off the misfortunes of others or relishes the idea of that person failing. Why? To create a defense mechanism and make up for his inadequacies.
The Negative has not accomplished much in life if any at all. He is miserable by nature and views life with a pessimistic filter.
Steer clear of these types of people or remove them from your life. They will only serve to drain you of energy and leave you frustrated.
2. The Judgmental
Do you have someone in your life who makes conclusions without knowing the facts? This person is called the Judgmental. He likes to stereotype people and believes only his perception is correct. He or She is the last person you would like to ask a piece of advice. A typical conversation would be like this:
You: “I’m having a difficult time making payments to the bank. I might end up losing my house. I’m already thinking of temporarily suspending my son’s schooling until I can recover. What should I do?”
The Judgmental: “You’re losing money because you started a business when instead you should have stuck with your office job. So you didn’t get the raise or the promotion. So what? At least you had money. Now you’re about to lose everything because you’re too proud to work a regular desk job like most of us. You have a family; what the heck were you thinking?”
The Judgmental will not give you solutions. All he will do is magnify the problems and make you feel that you made the wrong decisions. Why? The Judgmental is the type who sits on the sidelines. He does not take chances because he is afraid of failure or perhaps he was scarred by a past event.
He lives to criticize because he believes it places him on a higher pedestal. Avoid this person if you want to get productive advice.
3. The Know-It-All
Do you have someone in your life who makes it seem he knows anything and everything? This person is the Know-It-All. He wants everyone to know that he is smart and has the answers to all questions. But all he does is give clichés or opinions.
You: “This traffic is horrible. I end up rushing through work and being late for my appointments even if I leave my house 2 hours earlier.”
The Know-It-All: “What the government should have done was to fix the MRT trains last year. Then they should work on a scheme to limit the number of cars on the main thoroughfare. If I were the head of the traffic agency, I would have limited the number of colorum buses. And you should know better than to set appointments during these hours. It’s common sense.”
The Know-It-All believes Stephen Curry can shoot the three ball better if he just angled his elbow a few degrees higher. He believes Manny Pacquiao could have won the fight versus Floyd Mayweather Jr. if he just learned how to “cut angles and set up the left straight with a lead right hook.”
If you don’t want a migraine, you wouldn’t want a Know-It-All in your life.